So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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