Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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