Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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