my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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