your parents love me but you hate me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm just crazy horny about you
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
