So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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