scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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