forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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