I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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