She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
