everyone is single if you try hard enough
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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