You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
