Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
