it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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