I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
