Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
