He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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