chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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