I look better un-naked...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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