I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
