New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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