You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
