Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
