Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My penis needs a shock collar
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
