I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize