Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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