My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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