and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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