I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
