I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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