i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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