Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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