Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
