it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
