3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i believe in u and ur pee
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
