Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
