omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
