I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
