Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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