Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
