sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my poor anus
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
