i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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