So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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