The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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