Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
