it hurts more in the daytime
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
