hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
