i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
