I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have post one night stand depression
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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