trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
