Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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